mY jOuRnEy.....

… sTaRtiNg aLL oVer aGaiN …

cYiKiN — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:33:52 +0000

In life, you get hurt. You feel happy. You feel sad. And macam-macam lagi la.

But that’s the point of living right? Experiencing things, so that you can learn from it.

Just keep on moving. Dont give up. And just remember that all d things that happened were meant to be.

~ Be sTrOnG ~

…sAkiT HaTi…

cYiKiN — Wed, 16 May 2007 06:52:44 +0000

I got a job yesterday but you know what? I wont work anyway. All this is because of my mum. She said she wont pick me up if I have to work night shift. Damn… I am all sooo excited to tell her when I arrived at the hostel & then bam… she shoot it all back to me. I’m soo damned pissed off.

~~Okay fine, you dont want to pick me up, fine…~~

~~I’m going to PD this Friday. I dont want to stay here in Melaka that’s full of NOTHING. Nothing for me at all. Better to stay with my cousin or my grandma.~~

Even thought I’m sooo the fucking sakit hati tahap gaban right now, I’m glad my boy is there for me. Standing right beside me to help me deal with this. (walaupun he’s jauh kat Shah Alam tu…) Gosh, I dont know how am I going to face all this if he’s not with me. Thank you my dear, you really really helped me in dealing with all this shit. Thank you, thank you shooo much…

~~I really miss himÂ sooo much right now, and I’m really looking forward to seeÂ him this Sunday. Well, if he didn’t zoom off to Kelantan too soon anyway.~~

..:: 6tH mAY, oNe sWeeT DaY… ::..

cYiKiN — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:48:04 +0000

~~We went out for a date, finally…hehe…~~

~~Gosh…and I miss him sooo much already now~~…~~eventhough I’ve been talking to him on the phone a few hours ago. Am I in love…??? Perhaps… Malunye…~~

~~Oh my god…He’s constantly on my mind now…every hour, every minute, every second.~~

It’s been almost 8 months since I last met him in PAS last year. Itu pun terserempak dgn dia. What takes us so long to decide to see each other until last Sunday? Hmm…I guess because he’s such a shy guy, really shy I tell you. But he’s a damn good guy you know. One of the nicest guys I’ve ever known

And he ain’t as big as the last time I saw him, dah a bit kurus la, hehe…and cute…and comel…and cool…and calm…and macam-macam lagi la. Just a plain simple nice guy. Oh my god…I miss him…

Seriously, I dont know where this relationship is heading to. Coz, like I told you, he’s such a shy guy. If I don’t ask him to go out with me this Thursday, I dont think that he will even ask me out last Sunday. He’s afraid I guess. And I think the main reason he asked me out last Sunday was because I a bit merajuk with him on Saturday

Hmm…sometimes I always wonder what he thinks about me after our first date. Did he like me? Or did he… whatever la. Just always wondering because…entah, just always wondering about it. And a day after we dated each other he didn’t called or sms me. I can always call him or sms him but I got no credit. I missed him sooo badly…so I cried on my bed & fell asleep…poor me…

~~But now dah okay a bit coz I called him this evening… Telling him how much I missed him…~~

~~Alamak…dah jiwang-jiwang pulak ni…heheheh… Well, maybe I’m in love… I hope both of us can work on this. InsyaAllah…~~

21…???

cYiKiN — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 16:29:09 +0000

People say that turning 21 is the beginning of a new phase in your life.

Really?

Hmmm…I dont feel any difference anyway. Maybe because my 21st birthday didn’t turn out the way that I expected, I guess. But never mind. Expectation sucks anyway. It can make you really frustrated. Me, frustated. But I’m used to it. Seriously. Shit things happened to me all the time, so kinda used to it. Age is just a number to me.

So, all I have to do is survive. What else…Just have to find ways to survive. Setakat ni okay jea. Next week my final exam will start. Haiz…sooo worried. Especially for PR subject. Tough because its theories oriented. I dont really get what the lecturer taught for the whole semester. Most of the time feel sleepy in the class =_=

As for the other subjects, kinda so-so la. Hopefully I can score this time. Just have to make sure I revise throughly and memorize apa yang patut for the exam le. Hmmm…I’m gonna miss Cik Shikin & En.Nizam, my Photo Comm. & Graphic Design lecturers. Both of them are sooo cool. Maybe because they are the young lecturer so can a bit satu kepala with us all. To both of you, please give me an ‘A’ le…really want A++ for both of your subjects le…I know I did good through the semester, so give me an ‘A’ k? Hehe…demand jea lebih =p

…::: i MiSs mY FriEnDs :::…

cYiKiN — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 15:02:46 +0000

Miss my F6 friends soooo much…Most of them are very dear to me…miss you all my beloved friends. Don’t ever forget our memories together k…

…:: HuH…mCm XjaDi jEa… ::…

cYiKiN — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:02:57 +0000

aLaMaK…mcm tak jadi jea d setting that I buat tadi…

Huhu…help me please Wilson? Thank you the very very much. I must give you a headache kan? Hehe…sorry la.That’s what d admin’s for isnt it? =p

…:: bLuEeEeKkkSss ::…

cYiKiN — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 08:00:44 +0000

To the people out there who is not my FRIEND, and have access to this blog, I wanna say something….”BLAH LA WOI…!!!”

Especially after YOU, yes YOU, the people yang tak ada kene mengena in my life, jangan menyibuk nak baca my blog kalau berniat nak serang I balik with what I wrote, okay? You got a wrong blog to read. Coz you know what, if you serang me, I will serang you 100x harder. Dont play-play with me. This is MY BLOG, so I can write whatever I want okay? So go away and “GET A LIFE” you all stupid people.

Huh…damn pissed. Anyway, thanks to Wilson for helping me to change the setting of my blog. Thanx alot ya Wilson.

…::: iT’s TrUe wHeN mY LeCtuReR sAiD… :::…

cYiKiN — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:46:14 +0000

It’s true when my lecturer said that only when you are in 2nd sem or 3rd sem you get to know who is your real friend. It’s damn true. That’s what been happening to me. ‘Friends’ who I thought I can rely on, trust in, just showed their ‘true colour’ right in front of me. How depressed I am when all this happened.

So now, the conclusion is, I will never ever get so close with anybody. They just stab me on my back. I’m so sad… Only now I know who is my real true friends. They are friends whom I know back in high school. Those are my REAL, TRUE friends. Not the one that I know here, in UiTM. How deeply frustrated I am.

Thinking back, maybe this is balasan yg ALLAH gives to me. How small & weak I am. Maybe…but I’m glad at least there is something that I can learn & jadikan pengajaran. I just have to keep on holding on here. Be strong…at least I still have my family & other friends who truly care for me, who will never stab me on my back.

Protected: …:: ~_~ ::…

cYiKiN — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 15:24:18 +0000

…JiWa KaCau…

cYiKiN — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 13:21:57 +0000

I’m sooo feeling under the weather today…A lot of things had been happening…This song suits my feeling so well rite now, so here it is…

~WhAt HuRt ThE MoSt~

By : RaScaLL FLaTts

I can take the rain
on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears
now and then and just let them outI’m not afraid to cry
Every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again
I pretend I’m ok but that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

It’s hard to deal
with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doing it
It’s hard to force that smile
when I see our old friends and I’m alone

Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed
Dealing with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade
Give away
All the words that I say
In my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

~Peace Out~